Don’t get me wrong. It’s vitally important to work towards a great and fulfilling relationship - which of course does not happen over night. It takes time to really understand each other, to appreciate the differences, and to find that bliss that some couples are blessed with.

There is no substitute for great - honest -to goodness advice when making good relationship decisions. It will be your saving grace when you need to honesty look at yourself, mate or situation - in order to make serious decisions.

Relationships are often depicted in soudbites. The man and women meet unexpectedly, they have a fantastic time, and if things don’t work they leave each other with a smile on their face and a spring in their step. The art of good relating, the tools and strategies are never mentioned.

As if.

What is one to do - if people refer to you as either a doormat or a quitter depending on whether you stay in a miserable situation or leave.

My advice to you - is to be smart right from the beginning. Look out for the signs of an healthy relationship or lover from day one. Be aware, don’t make excuses for their behaviour, but also there is no need to be unreasonable or unrealistic in your expectations. As over 60% of marriages now end in divorce - devour this sound advice when making your decisions.

Fore-warned is Fore-armed.

Look Out For These Unhealthy Relationship Types

1. The Aggressive

If you are experiencing any form of physical abuse - get out now. Especially if children are involved. Physical abuse cannot be tolerated.

Your safety is of the highest importance. If you still desire to work on the ‘relationship’ only do so from a safe distance, and only if your safety can be guaranteed.

Remember you are only responsible for your own emotions and feelings, you are not responsible for their issues, childhood, and sulks. Do not be a therapist or parent to them or they will never grow, and you will be drained of any energy. Seek professional advice and help immediately.

2. The Bitter Pill

They never notice your success, accomplishments,new shirt or haircut. They love to rub your mistakes or weaknesses in your face, and completely overlook your positive traits.

They are emotional vampires. Putting you and your accomplishments down makes their small and insignificant selves feel better

If you still want to work on development the ‘relationship’ I recommend using a neutral third party as they will point out their behaviour to them in a more subtle manner. If you want out - then I recommend fast action while you still have your self-esteem.

3. The Love Rat

Something doesn’t seem quite right but you’re not sure what it is. They love to interrogate you about your calls, cell phone or emails, but are very cagey about their stuff and movements.

They love to project their guilty selves on to you - making you responsible for their suspicions, moods, stress and taxes.

Get proof and get out soon.

4. The Power Trip

Do they sulk and get moody if you go out with your friends or family?

Does your beloved suddenly become sick, stuck in traffic or experience something ‘major’ at work just before your big night out?

They are threatened by those who are importance to you. They are still insecure and threatened despite all your reassurances.

If you are still willing to work on this - do so with the help of a neutral third party. But do ask yourself how long you are willing to put up with this?

5. You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

Stress and tension could be the result of vastly differing drives, or a sudden loss of libido.

Discuss things openly and honestly with your lover. Sometimes just a few tweeks of time or help in the home could make all the difference.

A healthy, honest and sensitive approach is recommended in this situation. Try and look beyond the obvious, as problems in the bedroom could actually be a cover for other feelings such as anger, lack of intimacy, fatigue and resentment.

6. The Eternal Child

They belong to the 60’s - carefree yet not so single.

They can’t hold down a regular job, are needy and desire a person who will take care of them. What they really need is a parent and not a partner.

You will end up drained, tired and resentful as you end up giving more than you get.

7. Damaged Goods - Handle With Care

These poor little ‘victims’ have a history of being hurt and taken for granted.

If only they had the strength and courage to write these hurts down and pick out the patterns.

They will never truly believe that you like them, love them, or that you are faithfull or committed.

You may want to involve a neutral third party so that their negativity can be pointed out to them. You may end up tired of re-assuring them. You have been warned.

8. I’m So Great - Because Mom Says So

They are wonderful and wholesome just like apple pie. At least that’s what they were told at home. They can do no wrong, therefore it is all your fault.

Attachment to the adoring parent runs deep. Therefore they are always the cute and innocent party.

It’s time to come back down to earth. Get a neutral third party involved if they do not believe you.

Kick em to the curb if they still cling on to the ‘i’m so wonderful’ myth.

9. Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

If you don’t mind funny smells, fungi or bacteria you may be in for a great time. However if cleanliness is your thing, you may want to make a speedy departure.

We all value hygiene and self care. Ask yourself why you would want to spend time with someone who hasn’t bothered to look and smell good for you.

10. I’m Over Here!

These people are just plain inconsiderate. They are so focused on themselves and their needs and goals that they forget that you are there. They expect you to ask about them, pick them up when their chips are down, wipe their faces - but God forbid you should expect anything in return.

State you needs and expectations. Tell these people what you will and will not tolerate and them minimum level of respect and appreciation that you expect. Send them on their way if end up repeating yourself more twice.

You are not their slave. Get out pronto.

It is important to keep in mind that your behaviour and personality may be a factor in the unhealthy relationship. Always look at yourself first and determine whether you are contributing to this situation. If you feel that you have made grand efforts, have been honest and sincere, and have expressed your needs clearly and openly - and things still haven’t improved, then it’s time to make decisions. The use of a neutral third party will help them see their ways, but only if they are open, honest and mature enough to look.

Just keep in mind that you deserve to be treated with respect, consideration, and appreciation at all times.

To your health and happiness!

Jealousy is a fear of losing power. Actually all the people have always been striving for some power. However, finally you have to pay for everything you get in life. In the same fashion fear of losing power is the price you have to pay for your domination. This is why jealousy is familiar to most of the people who somehow or other are seeking domination over others.

Jealousy can be compared to cowardness: it is not an elevated feeling being a proof of love, but rather a permanent diffidence and fear of being unable to maintain domination over the object of love. Some people try to protect themselves from jealousy by choosing an originally intimidated, humble and useless person as a match. They prefer him or her to possess all of the above properties, only to be sure that it would prevent them from the fear of loss. Anyway, even this precaution doesn’t prevent them from experiencing a feeling of jealousy, as this feeling is an unconscious reflection of their own weakness. The more the perception of his or her own inferiority, the stronger is the potential jealousy.

Psychologists have noted that very often men tormenting their wives with jealousy are not faithful themselves. However, their own unfaithfulness is of no importance to them, and they regard love affairs with other women as potential parallel relationships along with their marriage bonds.

A husband or a wife displaying jealousy often raises rows, trying to restrict all possible contacts of a spouse with other people. Such environment makes all family members suffer, therefore, it is in each other’s interests to help to create a climate of good will in the family and get rid of jealousy. Jealousy mostly prevails in those families where neither words nor matters are straightforward. Very often it is a result of such recommendations as Full openness does only harm to a family. Don’t tell your husband.

Jealousy beyond measure is abnormal. For a person suffering of this disease any suspicious look would be enough to accuse the spouse of unfaithfulness. He (she) will be looking for any signs of unfaithfulness everywhere: in unwillingness for intimacy, in a gaze at an unknown man (woman), in a persistent wish for intimacy (to conceal unfaithfulness). Such jealousy may turn into madman’s ravings based on no real ground. A jealous spouse makes up various situations, develops them and lives by them. In medical terms it is called a “syndrome of a third person”. It’s useless to influence such a person by means of common sense. In such a case one should seek psychologist’s assistance.

On the other hand, a reasonable jealousy may add variety into the family life. However if it gets excessive, it becomes a sheer nightmare. Abnormal jealousy destroys heart bond between husband and wife and even affects work.

While we would all like to whisk our partner away to celebrate St Valentine’s Day at an exotic five star resort, I know I can’t afford it, just yet!

Here are some ideas for Valentine’s Day luxuries on a budget that will amaze your partner. And if you do it just right, with a little creativity, you can have the ultra-romantic day that will convince your loved one of how much you love him or her. Again.

Getting out into the open air, just the two of you, is a great way to spend Valentines. Head for the hills or the state park. There are walks to suit all - whether its an easy walk or a more demanding hike. Remember, it’s February, so its likely that the place will be deserted and you will have all that natural beauty to yourself. And outdoor privacy is so romantic!

Take along a special picnic when you go out. In a small picnic basket collect a tablecloth, a vase with a realistic rose in it, 2 taper candles with holders (don’t forget a lighter) and a lovely meal for two. When you reach the picnic area you can surprise your partner by setting the table for a romantic meal. Sit down and enjoy!

You could take the picnic with you on a romantic drive, or for a day out kite flying or bicycling. Remember that it’s being together that is important.

The outdoors idea even works for couples that have children. There’s always plenty for the kids to do if there is a safe and empty playground close by. What better way to celebrate your love than by keeping one eye on the children and reminding yourself why you love them, and their other parent, so much.

Don’t fancy the great, romantic, outdoors? Cooking your romantic Valentine’s meal together is a great way to share the day. Male sure that your dinner choice is something you will both enjoy, even better if its a special treat you don’t often have. Go over the top in decorating the dining room and go to town on the place settings. Make sure you both dress up in your best clothes, as if it was your first date, with your best jewelry and scent.

The main thing to remember is that if you are together you will have as romantic a time as you would have at a posh resort or an exclusive restaurant. It’s the thought that counts, not how much money you spend.

With the intensifying debate about body language being the key to your dating nightmares, I need to remind you that the telephone is another major obstacle. Here are five telephone tips to help you project your sweet image:

Pleasant tone

When you answer the phone, make sure that you are speaking in a sweet voice. It doesn’t have to sound freakishly polite. Just make sure that you want your voice to sound like music to your prospective match’s ears.

A nice message

Be sure that you have a nice message for your answering machine. Sound enthusiastic and optimistic and you will have more people begging to take you out that than you ever wished.

Get a Caller ID

If there are dating rules, I would make it compulsory for people to purchase Caller IDs for their homes. You need to know who’s calling so you can prepare yourself adequately for a heartwarming conversation.

Call Forwarding

This is so important to both online dating and traditional dating. Don’t you just find it frustrating to call someone several times and this person just does not get back to you? You won’t miss any calls (especially when it is from someone special) this way. Besides, do you feel like you are chained to the phone when you are waiting for someone to call you back?

Get a cell phone

Purchasing a mobile can be a good investment so you won’t miss any directly important calls. Besides, it acts as a safety measure when you are meeting a stranger for a date.

When men discover that they cannot get the women they love, they blame that it is because of their looks, all types of external factors and everyone else. In fact, the trick about dating is just about the techniques.

Usually dating is concerned for having fun and spends some time with your love. But it is one of the best friend finders. You can make new friends. When we are very young we collect friends like sweets. As we get older we lose some along the way kind of like natural wastage. We fall out and we fall in, we change and adapt and we end up with a core group of our best friends, usually quite small but reliable and close.

It is simplest form of being introduced with new people. Dating often misses out on this aspect, the fact that to become lovers we should become friends too. It’s not just an attraction but it’s about how we get on, what we have in common, if we share the same belief systems, skills, laughs, humor, outlook, background and passions. If we do then this may well be the very basis for a great relationship.

Having a lot of friend around you is not friendship but remember nice people are hard to find so let us not just discount people because they fell at the first hurdle. Amongst all the people you do date, there will be one of two people who may not be your ideal match, but who could be your ideal friend. So try and keep an open mind. Maybe you can suggest that although you don’t feel you would make it as a couple you would like to stay in touch and then actually do get in touch to do something. Make sure you have defined this as a fact and are clear though and don’t string someone along and have them thinking there is some romance in the air.

Friendship is the initial stage of all relations. People often say that they would like to marry their best friend. In other words, your partner should also be your best friend. What we mean but that is that the concept of “best friend” means the person we can rely on, trust in full measure, turn to when in need and talk to about everything in the world. It is a beautiful notion and one that should be kept in mind.

Really, dating is all about making friends and then loving them even more than that. It is about forming close bonds in a fairly short space of time and then building upon them. This is why a purely sex or physical relationship doesn’t often hold much long terms hope. It is surprising how many good friends also become lovers too.

This is a common situation. You know many men. Some of them are friends. Out of them one wants to be more than a friend with you. But he does not know how to tell you that? Are there any signs that will tell you that he is interested in you? Let us try to find out.

Friends always talk to each other freely. They laugh, make fun of each other and occasionally speak with each other in not a very civil way. If that man is interested in you, he will do none of this. Forget talking freely, he will find it difficult to speak to you. You will sometimes catch him looking at you intently, but as soon as you turn towards him, he will turn away.

He would never make it obvious that he was watching you. If any time some body makes fun of you, you will find everybody joining the fun, but not this man. He would rather look at the fun maker with anger. If any time you knock yourself against any object, others may ignore that, but not your hero. He will surely come and ask you if he can help.

Being in love and being a friend are two different things. Friendship is devoid of romantic love. There is no place for passion in friendship. Friends share everything without any need of protection. Friends are not bothered if they show their wilder side to other friends. Rather they love that. Friends don’t talk with each other in hushed tone and never feel shy of each other. Friends don’t care about what they wear amongst friends. Friends are more like a group of like - minded people who enjoy each other’s togetherness and behave more like siblings.

Romantic love stands at the other extreme. You will never catch a lover wearing something that can be commented upon negatively. A romantic lover does everything with a single objective - please his/her beloved. You will not find a romantic lover speaking the way friends do. Romantic lovers are not very open with each other and feel shy of each other’s presence. The flies in the stomach of a romantic lover when he/she looks at the beloved make all the difference. Now you know what signs to look for in a friend and find out if he thinks of you as a friend or his object of love.

There are some people in life whose presence or absence makes a great difference to us. With their presence they make us forget time and time never make us forget their absence. My granny used to be my best friend till last year she died of heart attack. She left a space blank in our household which can never be fulfilled by anyone else. I missed her a lot after her death, of course I’m still missing her, and my parents too miss her a lot. But with our self pity we probably forgot about grandpa, he was the person worst affected by the incident. The long-term relationship he had shared with granny was the best phase of his life, and he was feeling low since granny passed away.

Life has to go, anyway. I used to think of grandpa’s loneliness more than I did of my studies. His gloomy face horrified me more than anything else in this world and every time I would plan out something interesting like picnic or a flick to cheer up grandpa. But they were temporary solutions One morning, while flipping the pages of the newspaper, I was suddenly stuck with a piece of ad that read: Adult Dating Site. It was a piece of information about an adult dating site that has largest number of members and was the most popular one. Now, thinking of something special about my grandpa, the advertisement was a silver line around the cloud.

I hoped to the computer to do a research on adult dating sites. I was surprised to find that more than 50% adult in the world are members of adult dating sites. 7 out of 10 members in these sites are single adults- either divorced, or unmarried or have lost their spouse. I thought it would be great if grandpa joins one of these sites. Adult dating sites form a great community for the adults who are out there to meet people and socialize in an age when they really require a good friend. I shared the advertisement with grandpa and suggested him to join in one of the adult dating sites, particularly the one that was mentioned in the newspaper. Initially, he was hesitant as he was skeptical about function of the dating sites. But I knew he needed it badly and I managed to convince the old chap to enter into the dating scene.

Grandpa was not that much used to handling computer, it was my responsibility to teach him everything - starting from managing computer to visit different adult dating sites to create profile and start chatting. After 3-4 days, grandpa was an expert. These days, whenever he is getting time- after morning walk or evening tea- he is logging in to one of the adult dating sites and getting busy in talking to them. I think he is having a blast on those sites. Now I’m quite relaxed.

I feel the adult dating sites are doing a great job as they are proving a wider space for the elderly people to make a community and share their feelings.

If you are a teenager and have trouble dating, this guide is for you. These tips will surely help you survive in the dating world. Based on personal experiences of my own, and after talking to a large variety of teenagers on a daily basis, I have compiled this guide to help others who might have at one time, found themselves in many of the same positions I did. Don’t expect this guide to make you a master at finding many dates with ease; it will still take work on your part. We will be touching on some very important issues that many teens face in the dating world. Let’s get started!

One of the most popular questions I often get is what do I do if I like someone, but they don’t like me back? There is no magical button you can press that will make someone love you, it has to happen all by itself. If you are in a position like this it can be difficult to deal with. We’ve all been there, you have a big crush on someone and they don’t even know you are there. But thinking about something you can’t change will only drain your energy even more and will make finding that special someone that much harder.

The first step is to acknowledge that all of that pain that you are feeling right now will always go away eventually, especially after you find someone you truly loves you for who you really are. You might even look back and laugh at that pain you felt when you realize that the person who loves you was just waiting to find you! There’s no use getting worked up over things you can’t change, because when things progress naturally at their own pace, the magic truly unfolds.

We all go through the teenager phase, where emotions run high and lead to jealousy towards others. But this isn’t essentially something bad. If you are in a relationship, and your significant other is checking out other people, don’t jump to conclusions and think you have to end the relationship. You do have a right to be annoyed, however first you must make your concerns clear. Communication is one of the most important things.

If you are hit by the jealousy bug, that’s fine. We’ve all been there; but it’s irrational jealousy that hurts us which is very different. This can lead to paranoia and constant worrying over whether not your partner is cheating. Although we all worry about these kinds of things in relationships, letting it rule your life is very unhealthy and can wreck the entire relationship itself. Ask yourself whether the jealousy you feel is justified or not.

At first, we may not know if we are in love or not. Another popular question I get from teens is when they ask, “How can I tell if I am in love or not?” I always respond by saying, you will know when it happens. You can feel it. It is the most straightforward answer of all because it is a feeling like no other. Obsession isn’t love. If someone is on your mind all the time, you don’t necessary have to be in love with them.

Lust is also compared to love but is not nearly as meaningful. Many of us have felt very strongly towards someone. You see them as being beautiful and attractive. Combining this lust with obsession can trap many people and will usually lead to an unfulfilling relationship.

This next issue is something many teens ask me how to deal with and I always give them this tip. A big problem regarding the love lives of teens is parents. Old fashioned parents often believe their younger teens shouldn’t date and will disapprove of current boyfriends or girlfriends. An important step to dealing with this problem is to be on good terms with parents. Otherwise it will be that much harder to deal with the issue.

When the day is over, parents have your back. Although it may not seem like it, they’ve faced all the same problems you’ve dealt with. They’ve been in your shoes and have a lot more experience to draw knowledge from. Just like how relationships with your boyfriend or girlfriend thrive on communication, so does your relationship with your parents. It is important to never forget that. If you hide your actions from them and keep quiet, it will only lead to more heart-ache in the long run.

Now for the one thing on everyone’s mind, flirting tips. The biggest and easiest way to flirt is conversation. It is important to read the other person’s body language and to pick up on clues they may give off. This is all done while maintaining strong eye contact while you are talking. Try to smile a lot, laugh, and relax, while at the same time keeping your cool and not looking afraid. And of course, have fun!

Life is a lot different from the imaginary, fabricated on that we see in Hollywood. It always seem that men are able to confidently approach women, and without a need to search for the right pick up line. But why would this create a problem? With the fabricated script lines that are created for them, and the women who are paid to respond accordingly, there really should be no problem.

Let’s face it though, in our real life it’s not quite this easy, as the right ‘line’ isn’t always at your disposal. This probably sounds all too familiar to most of us. Perhaps you’re out with your friends, and notice a beautiful woman at that corner table. You procrastinate and procrastinate, and still haven’t went to talk to her. You procrastinate even more, and look over again, and she’s with another man - a confident man, who appears to know how to pick up girls. This man seems to be the man that everyone wants to be like, including you!

If your solution on how to be an alpha male and how to get girls is to brush up on those pickup lines, then you are bound to fail. Rare is the woman who will fall for a cheesy and overused pickup line. Imagine a woman who has heard your pickup line before from some other guy. Imagine a woman who has read that pickup line while surfing the Internet.

The key to approaching a woman is confidence. Stop racking your brain for things to say when you approach a woman. Be confident about yourself, your looks, your skills, and your own person. Come across as a guy who is out to have some relaxed fun and is not needy or desperate to pick up women. Show her your attraction not by saying that she looks like an angel who just fell from the sky. Tell her she’s beautiful as relaxed or as matter-of-factly as possible. Don’t say it like it’s the line that will get you your next girlfriend. Say it as an honest compliment to a lady.

One important thing when picking up a woman is how to keep yourself different from the ordinary ‘trying to take her home’ scheme. Let’s face it - women aren’t stupid, and they’ll be able to see right through you. Conversely, you must stay focused on ensuring keeping her interest, and more importantly stay interested in her’s. Perhaps she has friends with her, which is an excellent opportunity to strike a conversation on how they met. Keep a well-balanced conversation by talking about both your interests and her’s. The key is to send such a message that she realizes that you’re not the typical guy, but rather a gentleman who is out to have a good time, and to get to know a truly interesting person - and not for what most other guys are after.

Do you often ask yourself if you’re still happy with the relationship? Do you often look back to check why you’re with the person you’re with right now? Do you feel that the relationship is brining you down more that it’s supposed to elate you? You may be in an unhealthy relationship.

What is a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship should have the following qualities:

A sense of respect for each other. Your significant other should be able to give you the same respect he expects from you. This is respect for your individuality, for your unique personality - your sense of humor or the weird way you laugh. Also this entails a sense of respect for your decisions. Accepting your decisions and understanding it. Simply put, mutual respect in a relationship means that you value each other’s differences and understand, not try to change the other person’s personality.

Trust for each other. Trust means knowing that your partner is faithful to you no matter how many tempting opportunities surround him. This is when you see your boyfriend talking to a new girl in his class and you’d know deep inside that your partner loves you enough to not fool around. Everybody is entitled to feel jealous. It is, after all, a very normal emotion. It is how you react to that emotion that will count. Acting on jealousy will only bring you down and will not be healthy for your relationship.

Honesty with each other. This should go hand in hand with trust as trust is based on how truthful your partner is to you. How can you trust someone who can’t be honest with you? Once you’ve caught your partner in a major lie, you’ll have doubts the next time he tells you where he’s going or who he’s going with.

Supportiveness. Your partner will not just need your support during problematic times. There are people who seem to just appear from nowhere to offer a helping hand when everything seems chaotic, but is nowhere to be found during happy times. It’s nice to have someone to share triumph and happy times with. It always feels good to know that you have someone who believes in your capabilities and celebrates your achievements with you.

Fairness. Relationships should be give and take. Taking turns in making decisions, be it as simple as choosing a movie to watch or a place to eat at. This means that you’re not keeping count of how many times the other person has made the decision for the two of you as a couple, and you’re not turning the decision making process into a power struggle as to who should get his way.

Separate Identities. This means compromising in situations where there is a difference in interest. This doesn’t have to end up with one losing his identity just to give way to the other person. Both partners should still be able to maintain time for their own interest like when they started with the relationship.

Open communication. This means being able to express how you feel openly and honestly to your partner without fear of having your candidness misinterpreted. Having the sincerity to speak what’s on your mind, provided you’ve thought it out thoroughly enough to know that what you say will be taken in a good, constructive way.

What makes a relationship unhealthy? A relationship starts becoming unhealthy once it becomes mean, disrespectful, controlling and hurtful. Some people are exposed to domestic violence and start bringing it over to the way they carry a relationship. A person who has grown up to watching physical and emotional abuse inside their homes will most likely think that it’s normal in a relationship.

Relationships normally need work. It may have started with an overwhelming feeling of love for one another, but then again, keeping that love is a totally different thing altogether. Understanding you and your partner’s differences, accepting them and working around those differences will make your relationship easier to handle. Keeping it healthy, will make you both flourish and grow not just as individuals, but as a couple as well.